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lbavaro
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Interests: Laying down and watching sports
Standing up and playing sports
Lounging around and debating sports
Walking and talking on the cell phone, about sports
Driving and listening to other people talk sports
Sitting on the toilet and reading about sports
Expertise: I have great hands, so anything involving those
I have quick feet for a man my size
My crossover 'll break your ankles
When garbage time starts, i just get started
I know a lot about the N.Y. Giants, not much else
I can sleep through just about anything
Occupation: Marketing
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
1/20/2005
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| THINGS THAT MAKE ME YOU GO... "YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" AT THE TELEVISION
I have spent the last two weeks watching my beloved Giants play, with fellow Jints fan Ron The Angry Cameraman. In this company you can' t help but get pissed off occasionally, even if Tiki's bouncing is way down the field on every other play. So, here is a list of events that caused me (or Ron) to get up off the couch and scream at the television:
- Whenever a pass interference call was made and they marched off 48 yards on the penalty. That rule is just stupid (although a lot less stupid when Toomer is being interfered with).
- Howie Long.
- Coaches being interviewed on the field heading into halftime.
- When the Giants had first and goal from the one yard line and didn't run play action.
- When any player, Giants or opposition, made a tackle 3 yards past the line of scrimmage and flexed his biceps and screamed (see Sam Cowart).
- Anytime a Vikings fan dressed up in purple and yellow flashed across the screen. It's a football game, not Halloween.
(to be continued... feel free to add your gripes in the comment section)
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| My Personal Text Message Hell
I know that most fans that read this will be Vikings fans, as we are located in Minnesota. So, I don't expect any sympathy garnished from the story I am about to tell. I only tell it to relieve myself of some Monday morning pain following the Giants devastating loss in Seattle - but I'll get to that in a moment.
First, I have a prediction for you Vikings fans that I think you will like. Due to my overwhelming trash talking leading up to the Vikings-Giants game this year, I have set myself up for some crow eating. This is what I predict will happen: The Giants will end the season at 10-6, tied with Dallas for the NFC East lead. Dallas will win the tiebreaker based on conference records (Giants will beat the Cowboys this Sunday tying the season series 1-1, but the Giants will have one more conference loss). The Vikings will also end the season at 10-6 because of their pussycat schedule, one game behind the 11-5 Bears. But, the Vikings will win the Wild Card over New York because of their Special Teams victory in the Meadowlands.
OK, now for my text message hell. I watched the Giants gamecast on ESPN.com to the point where they tied the game at 21-all with just under 2:00 left. Then I had to go to dinner with my wife and mother-in-law. I enlisted by best friend Chris Valentino in NYC to text message me updates. Here's how it went:
Sea ball
Gmen drivin
In range
Missed ot
sea wins toss
sea punts
driving looks good
missed from 54
gmen get ball back
50 yard run by Tiki
misses again
we lose
Fuuuuuuuuuuck!
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| AN NFL FAN'S GUIDE ON WHO TO ROOT FOR
I was watching the Giants-Eagles game yesterday at
Champps with Ron The Angry Cameraman, a fellow Giants fan, and we got
into a little bit of a debate. (Yes, I have waited a week to
write in my blog, following "The Debacle in the Meadowlands"). I
asked Ron, who we should be rooting for in the Bucs/Falcons game
because they are both NFC teams with the same record and the answer was
not clear cut. Ron asked "When is it ever clear cut?" To
which I responded "When AFC plays NFC. Then, as a Giants fan, you
are required to root for AFC because of possible playoff
implications." He scoffed at my rule of thumb as nonsense and
said he "Doesn't worry about that bullshit." "Bullshit?" I asked.
"How could you say that? One game today could knock us out of the
wild card in six weeks!" In the end I had to figure out who to
root for without Ron's help. After realizing that neither team
plays the Giants later in the season and both have the same record
(6-3) and a similar schedule down the stretch, it almost came down to a
coin toss. Until, I remembered that the son of Phil Simms (the
quarterback, who brought my team to the promised land) plays for Tampa
Bay. "GO BUCS," I screamed became a Tampa Bay fan. So, for
all of you fans that run into a similar situation I thought I would
create a cheat sheet. Here it is:
(For this example, assume your team is in the NFC East and is 7-3)
1. AFC vs. NFC - Root for AFC (You knew this already)
2. NFC East vs. NFC North, South or West
a. If NFC East team is 5-5 or better (within 2 game
rule) and other team is 5-5 or better, root for other team
b. If NFC East team is worse than 5-5 and other team is 5-5 or better, root for NFC East team
c. If both teams are worse than 5-5, root for other team
3. NFC East vs. NFC East - Root for team with worse record.
If same record, root for road team so that the home team crowd is
devastated.
4. NFC North, South or West vs. NFC North, South or West - Root
for team with worse record. If teams have same record, look for
something exciting like the son of your favorite quarterback ever
playing for one of the teams.
5. AFC vs. AFC - Root for the underdog
There you have it.... Of course, each week the rules change based on
the standings and remaining schedule. As we get closer to Week 16
the decisions become easier. But, stick to these guidelines and
you will be ok.
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| Michael Olowokandi Sucks
I tried to get inventive with this title and this is
what I kept coming back to... Michael Olowokandi sucks. I
don't care how many times Jim Petersen or Tom Hanneman try to tell the
Timberwolves viewing audience otherwise, this guy is just a big
stiff. His low post moves are painful to watch, his hands are
like big, stone slabs and he hustles like a fat kid on his way to gym
class. I won't go so far as to call him a "pussy", like Phoenix
Suns assistant coach Alvin Gentry did in last week's Sports Illustrated
because I am sure he is tough in his own right. Plus, anyone that
is bigger and stronger than me does not get called a pussy by me.
But, I've seen and played a lot of basketball in my lifetime and I can
assess pretty accurately his level of ball skills... THEY SUCK.
Could you imagine if the Wolves actually had a good center?
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| Who's Your Daddy... It's Bill Parcells
Jose Cortez beat the N.Y. Giants with a last second kick two weeks ago
and then missed a chippy this week... Bill Parcells cut him.
Against the Seahawks, his wide receivers coach was mouthing off to the
refs. After telling him a second time to shut up, Bill just punched
him. Then the cameras tried to film the sidelines and Parcells
angrily chased them away. Could you imagine if Bill
Parcells was the coach of the Vikings? Culpepper would be selling
insurance right now and Steve Loney would be in the hospital.
Hey, and maybe they win a few more games.
Parcells has started out as all great coaches start out, in the Giants
system. After working his way through the ranks to two Super Bowl
victories he has earned the right to do whatever the hell he
wants. He's become the "Daddy" of NFL coaches. In other
words, no matter what he does, says, infers or promises, he doesn't get
second guessed. If you second guess him, you get the scowl.
If you don't do your chores, you get sent to the doghouse. If you
talk back, you get slapped.
As a fan of football, you want that kind of authority in your
coach. Players may not like it, but that's the point. (Have
you seen Coach Carter? Do you see what I mean?) As a fan of
sports, I am sick and tired of players doing everything but play.
And, I am thankful for guys like Parcells to keep them in
check.
But, there is one BIG CAVEAT to this whole rant. Occasionally,
you have a case where a player fights back. Where a player
doesn't bow to the authority of the coach. Where a player second
guesses and talks back. Where a player is just as crazy as the coach. Now, if that player sucks like Jose
Cortez, you just cut him or slap him. But, if instead, he is Keyshawn
Johnson or in my most fondest memories Lawrence Taylor, you just
let him have as many bong hits and boat orgies as he pleases.
After all, isn't winning all that matters?
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